I just got a letter from my health insurer informing me that my monthly premiums are going up and no longer cover gastric band procedures. Looks like I’ll have to leave that seventh box of tim tams in the cupboard then.

The good news is they have a service where doctors will come to your home outside of normal working hours. I think they are planning to call it “house calls” and it is available to people who live within an ever expanding range of postcodes. Hang on. I DO live in an ever expanding range of postcodes.

They are also telling me that my extra $10 a month will go toward their global network of over 50,000 specialists. I’m not sure how many of them will fit in my house and I hope I’m not expected to make them all tea.